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Dining for Democracy

Dining for Democracy Skills Strategies

As you begin your Dining for Democracy conversation, first choose - and invite your discussion partners to choose - 1-2 of these discussion skills strategies. 

  • "Agree to disagree" on the topic, to explore and invite as many facets and viewpoints as possible. 
  • Start your sentences with "I" rather than "you" - to reduce the likelihood of inviting an automatically defensive response in your partner (happens to all of us!) 
  • Be inviting and genuinely curious; invite every one to speak. 
  • Listen to understand, not always to debate or litigate. 
  • Be conscious of how fear and uncertainty claim to affect all of us. 
  • Practice the Golden Rule: even when things get intense, be aware that how you treat others communicates how they may treat you. 
  • Acknowledge others' concerns and trust that your own views are worth sharing and developing. 
  • Remember that democracy depends upon how well we listen to and treat each other. 
  • Deploy empathy: see others' deepest concerns even if you disagree with their ideas. 
  • Speak authentically from your own experience. 
  • It's ok to ask someone for evidence to back up their points, and to do research on the spot to look things up. Use reliable and trustworthy sources. 
  • Be aware of your speaking volume, and the speaking volume of your partners. As discussions intensify, your need for self-awareness increases. 
  • To de-escalate, breathe deeply, speak calmly. It's ok to pause....take a beat....and think about your response. 
  • It's ok to say, "I'll have to think more about this. Can I get back to you later?" 
  • Be self-aware as you go. How does this conversation feel in your body? Is your body's automatic response to tension taking over the conversation? If you realize this is happening....breathe....and reset. 
  • Invite each other to consider all the ways other people are involved in the issue or topic. 

Dining Discussion Questions for Skills Practice

To practice your own civic dialogue skills, try a question doesn't have one "right" answer and which is that's open-ended - can't be answered by a yes or no. Come up with your own questions, or invite your discussion partner to think through some of these questions below. Soon, this site will have a place for you to suggest questions as well. 

  • In what ways has improved communications technology truly improved how people communicate?

  • Should pride still be seen as a sin these days? 

  • How do you know when you’re being too hard or too easy on yourself? 

  • Do employers have an obligation to ensure their employees have access to healthcare, safe housing, and nutritious food? 

  • Is war inevitable? Why or why not? 

  • What qualities make someone a good leader or a poor leader? What qualities make someone a good follower or a poor follower? 

  • Can a society be both secure and free? 

  • Is vegetarianism more ethical than eating humanely-raised livestock? 

  • Can justice ever be achieved without producing injustice for others? 

  • Is time real? 

  • What is the purpose of life? 

  • How can you be sure other people exist when you are out of the room? 

  • Why do the relatively small number of people in any society who are the real troublemakers attract so much attention? 

  • How much can we expect people in developed nations to change their lifestyles to address climate change? 

  • Why does empathy for other people seem so hard for so many people to express? 

  • Do you think people in authority these days deserve respect just because they’re in authority? 

  • What skills do people need to be good citizens, and who is responsible for teaching these skills to children? 

  • Will you let your children watch cartoon movies? 

  • Will you allow your children to play traditional American football? 

  • Is it ok to turn charitable donations, like a canned food drive, into a competition, or should we expect people to donate without competing? 

  • Is it ethical to put your terminally ill pet to sleep, or should you wait for it to pass on its own? 

  • Are humans naturally good or bad? What choices do people have about their personal character qualities? 

  • Would the world be a better place to live if everyone spoke multiple languages?

  • Is the Olympics worth the expense? 

  • What communications strategies are most effective with people who are easily offended? 

  • Are day people or "night owls" - people who are energized at night - better citizens? 

  • Should all participants in youth sports get a ribbon for participating, or only the winners? 

  • Do you believe everyone is really a global citizen, even if they don’t think so? Do you think everyone is a role model, even if they don't want to be?